not long now

Hey all,

So it would seem I fell off the regular blogging band wagon, but no worries, I am alive and well and in 4 short sleeps I will be beginning my new adventure in Orlando, Florida working for the mouse!

It seemed for a while that this time would never come but now as its fast approaching, I wish I had a little more time. Nothing is packed. There are so many people I wish I could have spent some more time with. I picked up my singing once again with two extremely talented guys - Brett and Spencer, you guys are amazing. Sigh... I only hope they will wait for me to start something when I come home next year. We've played together twice now and both times just felt good... its that kind of feeling that you're doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing.

I don't really know what I'm supposed to do anymore. Disney feels right and so does the band, but both at the same time are simply impossible. So I'm going with the Disney thing because its something I've been wanting to do for years but I'm not forgetting about music. I will play my guitar and sing my heart out over the next year even if its by myself in my room.

Well thats all for now, fingers crossed my life path will straighten out a bit in the next year :)

<3

sometimes "ups" outnumber the "downs"

I think everyone has those days (or weeks or months) where everything seems to go wrong. When it feels like the world has turned its back on you. When you're tired to fighting for what you believe is right or for what you deserve. Before the pity party gets started, I'm not going to blog a "woe is me" type blog. Sure there are things less than perfect in my life. I have a great deal of school debt that I am struggling to pay off. My manager at work is exercising her power and cutting my hours back to the bare minimum. Due to this lack of hours and income, I cannot afford to spend a few days in Daytona Beach with my friend who deserves this more than anything. I am so sorry Paige. I swear to you, I will make this up.

So yeah, life sucks right? Not exactly.

I have been given the opportunity to work at the most magical place on Earth and in doing so, I will be able to make a dent in the debt that I owe. I have also taken the first step in my career goal of working for the RCMP by signing up to write the aptitude test on April 18th.

My manager is human. I believe she is a better person than she thinks she is. Even if she is not, I will only be working under her for a limited time and so, it is not worth my energy to be upset about her actions. I can only control one person, myself. That said, fingers crossed she changes her attitude about my leaving for such a wonderful opportunity :)

Paige is the most understanding and compassionate friend I have. I am positive she is disappointed that I can no longer go on this much-deserved vacation with her, but she takes everything in stride and harbours no anger toward me about the issue. I am so greatful to have her as a friend.

So yeah, life is okay! Soon to be fabulous as I am about to embark on the adventure of a life time. In 41 days I will be arriving at Walt Disney World, my dream come true.

and the cats outta the bag!

Well well well. I've been trying to figure out the right time to let my manager know that I will be leaving to spend a year working for the main cheese! It seems that I no longer need to be concerned as it came to my attention yesterday that she already knows. Funny part of it is that she hasn't confronted me with this as of yet. So now, my internal battle is regarding whether to deny it or to confirm her accusation. Of course I want to let her know so that she can find a replacement but at the same time, due to a certain history, I can't trust that she will continue giving me hours until I leave. I want to trust her, but I simply can't. My other team members agree that if I tell her, I will be cut down to 15 hours per week or even worse, let go completely. Apparently telling your manager that you will be leaving at a certain date is considered giving notice and as it is only courtesy to do so, it does not mean they have to let me consider working. I can't afford that. I'm already stressed to the max about my financial situation - my first few weeks in Disney I will be without a paycheque... I need to save save save!

In the meantime, I've gotta get this tattoo done. I'm getting a tattoo of a dragonfly with the words "alis volat propriis" meaning "she flies with her own wings". I am getting this primarily for my friend who is battling with cancer. She got a tattoo with the same message. I also want this tattoo for myself. I've battled my own personal demons as many young women (and men) have and this tattoo will symbolize my freedom and independence. The dragonfly symbolizes change and the power of life. I'm hoping to get this ink done in the next 2 weeks... the sooner the better!

Thats all for now!

Just get me outta this place!

My start date at Walt Disney World is in 59 days. I still haven't told my manager I'll be leaving for fear that she will use that to my disadvantage during my last 2 months here. I really can't afford to have my hours cut but I don't want to be a jerk and not give her ample notice to start looking for a new hire. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I really want to just pack my bags and leave now for Florida. If I got a call right now saying they needed me out there early, I'd be leaving as soon as my car was packed. Its not that I don't like it here... well actually, it is kinda like that I guess. What I should say is that there are definitly people and things I will miss about home, but I have so much more to look forward to in Florida.

I am excited to meet new people, try new things and to get away from the stress in my life back home. For a whole year my focus is going to be on having fun. Something I don't do enough of right now. Fun tends to correlate to spending money, something I shouldn't be doing while trying to reduce my debt incurred while at university. Its going to be a long road to get out of this hole I've dug financially and I'm hoping some decent tips at Le Cellier will help me part of the way out!

I've discovered I've been increasingly irratable lately. I think its partly because I feel like I'm at a stand still in my life. My job right now is not anything close to what I want to do for the rest of my life. I got the call telling me I've been hired by the Walt Disney World resort in November. With only 6 months between then and when I would be starting my year in Florida it didn't make sense to look for a new job. So thats where I'm at right now. Its really getting to me now, but I only have to suffer for another 8 weeks. I've been working on looking for a positive in every situation... its a struggle but I'm starting to get it.

the love of my life

Age is only a number

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

If I didn't know any better I would guess that I am 20 years old. I have a hard time remembering that I'm 22 years old. I certainly don't feel my age. I have friends who are still teenagers and friends that are in their mid-forties. So maybe age doesn't really matter after all, well when you're speaking of friendships that is. I think their are different social rules when it comes to intimate relationships... if age wasn't such a big deal, we wouldn't have cradle robbers, cougars, sugar daddies and the like.

I'm not completely sure where I stand on the issue. Sometimes I judge people based on their relationships but then again, I'm not perfect. I have a gigantic crush Taylor Lautner (age 18) and Bradley Cooper (age 35)!

Maybe we should all just go with the age that we would be if we didn't know how old we were. That has got to mean more than how old we actually are. In that case, I will be staying 20 years old for a longggg time :)

We did it!

Well Canada, we did it! I am so proud to be Canadian at this moment. We may not have won the most medals, but we won more GOLD than any country in olympic history and thats what really counts. Gold in men's hockey was just the icing on the cake. I didn't think it was possible for me to hold my breath that long!

Sidney Crosby - I am single, in case you were wondering :P

It truly was the best way to end the olympic games for any Canadian. I have seen more Canadian pride these past 2 weeks than ever before and it feels great. I am so excited for my year in Florida representing Canada to show the world how amazing being Canadian really is!

An Important Realization

I'm really starting to like this blogging thing. I get to say whatever I please and get to imagine other people actually interested in reading it.

I spent my morning babysitting my nephew, Kace. He is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen and I promise I'm not just saying that because he's my family. He's perfect. But we all know what comes with being beautiful... being high maintenance and that he most certainly is. He has got to be among the crustiest of babies. It is because of this I have realized in the past 6 months that I am far from ready to be a mom. Not that I had any intentions of having babies right now, but it has certainly been made clear to me that at this point, I'm simply not cut out for it.

I spent a good hour trying to get Kace to go to sleep. He was doing the whole "I'm tired but instead of going to sleep, I'm just going to cry about it." We looked out the window, went for a walk, watched tv, played with his tractor, played with my hand, rocked in the rocking chair, listened to some tunes, bounced, and cried (well he did that one on his own) numerous times in that hour before he finally fell asleep. Of course the dogs had to bark an hour later and wake the little guy up! Ugghhh I don't even like Barry (or daisy for that matter, Donkey is okay sometimes but as soon as I smell his breath, I'm not his biggest fan either)!

I definitely love Kace and can't wait to have babies one day... but that one day is a great many days in the future! For now, I'll just continue spending too much money on the most beautiful baby in the world! So Kace, you'd better not complain about not having any more cousins from me for a long time because I'll just blame you :P

Proud to be a Canadian!

Phew Canada killed it tonight against the Russians! I have no doubt in my mind it'll be the USA vs Canada for the gold but I think that game will be much different than the qualifier game earlier this week.

Its nice that I have the Olympics to focus on - it keeps my mind off my countdown to Disney - about 9 weeks now - as well as how tired I am of my job and routine. Everyday is the same, all just a blur. That is one thing I cannot be satisfied with in life. I want a life that keeps me on my toes!

Living in central Florida is going to be that excitement I need. I've been working on a list of things I want to do during my year in Disney and its becoming quite exhaustive. If I can manage to complete it, it would be an impressive feat. Some of the noteworthy items are to go bungee jumping, visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal, visit Las Vegas, and make friends from all over the world.

I've made some headway with the last one already! I now know people from Mexico, Germany, Italy and the United Kingdom - well sure, I don't actually know them, but we've all been talking online and I can promise you many of these people will become close friends in the next couple of months. I'm looking forward to sharing with them my Canadian culture, complete with plenty of pleases and thank-yous and certainly and abundance of ehs!

Its hard to believe I will be leaving here so soon. It is very possible that I won't ever live at home with my parents again, much to my mom's relief haha. But really, this is it. In 2 months, I'm starting the adventure of a lifetime! I can't wait!

Fearless

I have recently learned what it means to be fearless.

I have learned it is possible to have your life turned completely upside down and carry on. I have learned that even when your health turns it back on you, your spirit can prevail. I have learned that when the one you love is afraid and runs away from you, you can stand up and walk forward. I am so thankful to have learned these things from a person I admire for many reasons.

You can't control cancer. You can't control people. Just like you can't control the weather, so forget trying to control these things. Be brave enough to accept this.

Being brave doesn't mean you can't cry. It doesn't mean you can't be angry or frustrated or spiteful. Bravery, to me, is the courage to accept these emotions and fulfill their need to be expressed so that you can move on. We have all been given emotions for a reason. We needn't be afraid to show them.

She has taught me what no fear really means.

Does life ever get easier?

I work hard for too little money. I found out recently that my credit rating basically says I'm bankrupt although I have been working diligently to pay off my debts I incurred while in university. Apparently I owed the cable company $300 from almost a year ago and they never thought to inform me or ask me for the money.

sigh...

I've owed mastercard $7 for more than 120 days and they too didn't bother to inform me of this. The $7 is for an insurance program that I asked to have cancelled back in July.

another sigh...

Good news, I think I've paid everything off now that was past due (even if I shouldn't have been charged in the first place). Bad news, despite my not being contacted about these supposed past due balances, my credit score has taken a huge hit and apparently these slip ups will be on my credit score for 6-7 years! Ughhh c'est la vie!

But.... I AM going to Walt Disney World for an entire year! I am positive everything will fall into place once I'm there, but I still have 2 months to endure here. I have a lot of phone calls to make and paperwork to file in these couple months, fingers crossed my hard work will pay off.

I really do live a Mickey Mouse life!

my first blog

This is my first attempt at a blog. Basically I am blogging about my upcoming adventure. I have been accepted into the cultural representative program at Walt Disney World. I am starting May 4th and will be working in Food and Beverage at the Canadian Pavilion. The countdown is at 72 days. The days are crawling by - I just want to get out there and leave my McJob behind me. No, I don't work at McDonalds but I sometimes feel like I do.

Walt Disney World has been my favourite place since I was a little kid. It really is a place where dreams come true. Its that one place where nothing else seems to matter but happiness. I forget that I'm 22 years old and thats not a bad thing!

I'm excited and nervous about leaving my life here in the metropolis of Aylmer, Ontario (wait, I actually live in Calton - population maybe 100?) That might even be a stretch! It will definitely be a change but one I am sure I will never regret. I feel like this might be the beginning of the life I've been dreaming of. Now all I need to do is meet my prince charming and I'm set!

Side note: Canada just lost to the USA 5-3 in men's hockey... :(