sometimes "ups" outnumber the "downs"

I think everyone has those days (or weeks or months) where everything seems to go wrong. When it feels like the world has turned its back on you. When you're tired to fighting for what you believe is right or for what you deserve. Before the pity party gets started, I'm not going to blog a "woe is me" type blog. Sure there are things less than perfect in my life. I have a great deal of school debt that I am struggling to pay off. My manager at work is exercising her power and cutting my hours back to the bare minimum. Due to this lack of hours and income, I cannot afford to spend a few days in Daytona Beach with my friend who deserves this more than anything. I am so sorry Paige. I swear to you, I will make this up.

So yeah, life sucks right? Not exactly.

I have been given the opportunity to work at the most magical place on Earth and in doing so, I will be able to make a dent in the debt that I owe. I have also taken the first step in my career goal of working for the RCMP by signing up to write the aptitude test on April 18th.

My manager is human. I believe she is a better person than she thinks she is. Even if she is not, I will only be working under her for a limited time and so, it is not worth my energy to be upset about her actions. I can only control one person, myself. That said, fingers crossed she changes her attitude about my leaving for such a wonderful opportunity :)

Paige is the most understanding and compassionate friend I have. I am positive she is disappointed that I can no longer go on this much-deserved vacation with her, but she takes everything in stride and harbours no anger toward me about the issue. I am so greatful to have her as a friend.

So yeah, life is okay! Soon to be fabulous as I am about to embark on the adventure of a life time. In 41 days I will be arriving at Walt Disney World, my dream come true.

and the cats outta the bag!

Well well well. I've been trying to figure out the right time to let my manager know that I will be leaving to spend a year working for the main cheese! It seems that I no longer need to be concerned as it came to my attention yesterday that she already knows. Funny part of it is that she hasn't confronted me with this as of yet. So now, my internal battle is regarding whether to deny it or to confirm her accusation. Of course I want to let her know so that she can find a replacement but at the same time, due to a certain history, I can't trust that she will continue giving me hours until I leave. I want to trust her, but I simply can't. My other team members agree that if I tell her, I will be cut down to 15 hours per week or even worse, let go completely. Apparently telling your manager that you will be leaving at a certain date is considered giving notice and as it is only courtesy to do so, it does not mean they have to let me consider working. I can't afford that. I'm already stressed to the max about my financial situation - my first few weeks in Disney I will be without a paycheque... I need to save save save!

In the meantime, I've gotta get this tattoo done. I'm getting a tattoo of a dragonfly with the words "alis volat propriis" meaning "she flies with her own wings". I am getting this primarily for my friend who is battling with cancer. She got a tattoo with the same message. I also want this tattoo for myself. I've battled my own personal demons as many young women (and men) have and this tattoo will symbolize my freedom and independence. The dragonfly symbolizes change and the power of life. I'm hoping to get this ink done in the next 2 weeks... the sooner the better!

Thats all for now!

Just get me outta this place!

My start date at Walt Disney World is in 59 days. I still haven't told my manager I'll be leaving for fear that she will use that to my disadvantage during my last 2 months here. I really can't afford to have my hours cut but I don't want to be a jerk and not give her ample notice to start looking for a new hire. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I really want to just pack my bags and leave now for Florida. If I got a call right now saying they needed me out there early, I'd be leaving as soon as my car was packed. Its not that I don't like it here... well actually, it is kinda like that I guess. What I should say is that there are definitly people and things I will miss about home, but I have so much more to look forward to in Florida.

I am excited to meet new people, try new things and to get away from the stress in my life back home. For a whole year my focus is going to be on having fun. Something I don't do enough of right now. Fun tends to correlate to spending money, something I shouldn't be doing while trying to reduce my debt incurred while at university. Its going to be a long road to get out of this hole I've dug financially and I'm hoping some decent tips at Le Cellier will help me part of the way out!

I've discovered I've been increasingly irratable lately. I think its partly because I feel like I'm at a stand still in my life. My job right now is not anything close to what I want to do for the rest of my life. I got the call telling me I've been hired by the Walt Disney World resort in November. With only 6 months between then and when I would be starting my year in Florida it didn't make sense to look for a new job. So thats where I'm at right now. Its really getting to me now, but I only have to suffer for another 8 weeks. I've been working on looking for a positive in every situation... its a struggle but I'm starting to get it.

the love of my life

Age is only a number

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?

If I didn't know any better I would guess that I am 20 years old. I have a hard time remembering that I'm 22 years old. I certainly don't feel my age. I have friends who are still teenagers and friends that are in their mid-forties. So maybe age doesn't really matter after all, well when you're speaking of friendships that is. I think their are different social rules when it comes to intimate relationships... if age wasn't such a big deal, we wouldn't have cradle robbers, cougars, sugar daddies and the like.

I'm not completely sure where I stand on the issue. Sometimes I judge people based on their relationships but then again, I'm not perfect. I have a gigantic crush Taylor Lautner (age 18) and Bradley Cooper (age 35)!

Maybe we should all just go with the age that we would be if we didn't know how old we were. That has got to mean more than how old we actually are. In that case, I will be staying 20 years old for a longggg time :)